רבי אלעזר הוה אזיל לבי חמוי ... אמר ר' אלעזר הא חמינא דאתערותא דלעילא לא איהו אלא כד אתער לתתא דהא אתערותא דלעילא בתיאובתא דלתתא תלייא וכו
Seems to go very well with the point made earlier of Initiating the Initiator.
Without a showing of some form of receptivity on the part of the female any advance on the part of the male is then, ultimately, harassment.
There must be an אתערותא דלתתא just to allow for the אתערותא דלעילא to be an act of benevolence and not one of harassment.
Or maybe put another way: the difference between your classic Big Bad Wolf and that of Sam the Sham...
[p.s. Just look at how history views European Colonialism in its entirety]
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