שוחד לשטן

There was a girl that I had a chance meeting with once. Through the course of discussion she seemed to have taken a liking to me for whatever reason, which made things particularly problematic for me seeing as how, as I saw the situation, we weren't a good match for one another on any fundamental levels of goals or aspirations.... it left me in quite a quandary as to how to proceed... on the one hand you have a genuine gesture of attempting to establish a bond/relationship, an emotional "S.O.S call" being yelled out, requesting to be answered... and yet you know it's not a match... but on the other hand, you betray your own sense of compassion by not responding back in kind, repaying an innocent, genuine gesture of love with a painful, unwarranted (atleast from the girls frame of reference) coldness of rejection... it's really a tough situation...

so I chose to ask her out, thereby satisfying her need of a positive response and satisfying her in the knowledge that, all other things being equal, I find her attractive... and then the most interesting thing occured... she turned the offer down lol (she gave me a logical reason that I won't mention publicly, but suffice it to say I am 100% confident that my initial senses of her being interested were nonetheless correct)

and so after thinking about it some more I realized what had taken place: she never really wanted to go out with me. What was bothering her was that a boy such as me (with whatever positive qualities I had that made me admirable or significant in her eyes) didn't seem to show any real notice or interest in her. That bothered her, and it was just that which she wanted i.e. affirmation, recognition.

All that I've written so far is interesting and insightful in and of itself I think but here's the real fascinating insight that I had about this whole dynamic exchange: it was my offering to her of the date that brought to light what she really wanted. It's the offering the gluttonous guests the shmorgesboard so that the king can sit in the company of friends who are truly interested in being with him (Zohar). The שוחד לשטן.