Self-Committed Relationships

A few connections between the parsha of השבת אבידה and a man taking a woman:

1) מציאה - the מצא אשה מצא טוב and לכל אבידת אחיך אשר תאבד ממנו ומצאתה ; also אלו מציאות שלו וכו

2) Kiddushin 2b - seeing כי יקח איש אשה as a form of בעל אבידה מחזר על אבידתו

3) Granted a weak connection- the סימנים of אבידה and סימני יעקב ורחל

So with that in mind I thought to draw from the concept in Bava Metzia of ייאוש בעלים and the amazing dynamic that comes from it:

There could be an object out there with my name written all over it, clearly indicating that it is mine; and yet the moment I give up on it, the moment I'm מתייאש on it, at that very moment it ceases to be mine regardless of externally imposed definitions.

In other words my relationship to the object is extant completely insofar as my self-investment in it and commitment to the relationship. The moment that I cease to assert my own self-investment THAT is the moment that it ceases to be mine. Then and only then. Otherwise, that maintained commitment together with סימנים keep the relationship fully intact עד שיבא אליהו.